My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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