she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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