Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
