I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
