Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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