im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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