do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
