Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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