I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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