She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you never un-have a 4some
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
