The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Randomize
