went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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