yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
