Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
