I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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