Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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