Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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