Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
