If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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