So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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