i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
