He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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