he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When are your genitals available?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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