I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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