The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
