that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
