so that wasnt chicken after all
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
