No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
