And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
FUCK WHALES
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
