at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
