Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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