My brain says no but my pants say off.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
