What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
nutella sex= disaster
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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