I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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