Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
