you would pick up someone in the library
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
