I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize