All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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