I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
