I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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