It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think a kid would responsible me up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
