I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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