So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
