Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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