I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
