Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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