You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
