MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
