How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize