jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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