after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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