I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
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That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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