I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize