And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
