omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
