She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
