now i know why i became what i already was.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize