We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
