Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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