I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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