I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
