Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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