Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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